


hero

by petertingle



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Gen, Guilt, Nightmares, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:15:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29126343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petertingle/pseuds/petertingle
Summary: in which bucky barnes is tired of living in constant guilt, the terrors of his life as the winter soldier a constant reminder that he will never be anything more than a monster. however after a short but meaningful interaction with a little girl who claims he is her hero, his perspective on himself might change.
Kudos: 4





	hero

**Author's Note:**

> this idea was based off a tiktok i saw with a similar tumblr prompt 
> 
> https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMe1P7SWN/

It had been a little over three years since the whole mess with the accords and the battle that went down in Siberia. Stark had apologized for nearly killing Bucky and Steve had wholeheartedly apologized for keeping the true death of his parents a secret from him. Bucky had of course guiltily thrown in his own apologies for his acts under the influence of his alter ego and all had been forgiven.

But even after everything had been swept under the rug and the Avengers had officially invited Bucky to live with them as well as become a part of their little family, the terrors of what he had done during his time with HYDRA never let him rest and it was because of this he believed that everyone saw him as he was, a monster.

-

It was another one of those nights, Bucky had excused himself in the middle of the team getting ready for movie night, not missing the disappointed frown Steve had sent him as he retreated to his room.

He couldn't help but feel that he didn't belong and he never would as long as he had this blood on his hands. 

Sighing deeply, Bucky turned on his side, the music he had asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to play doing nothing to silence the voices in his head.

Bucky could only close his eyes and hope that his misery would end soon.

-

"Buck, are you sure that's a good idea. Maybe I should come with you." Bucky had to stop himself from snapping at his oldest friend as he continued to hover over him like a mother hen.

The team would be heading for Coney Island to spend some time relaxing on their day off after a rather intense mission, Bucky had opted to head for a walk in the park, with a copy of  _ 'The Book Thief' _ in his hand and his metal one shoved in his jacket pocket. Of course after voicing this, Steve was hesitant, worried that his war buddy wouldn't be able to handle the outside world on his own, or worse, he would slip back into his mind. 

But Bucky needed this, and once he promised to keep his phone on and not stay out too long, Steve relented heading off with the team with a fond wave of his hand and the familiar " _ Don't do anything stupid jerk." _

Bucky could only smile and head off down to the nearby park he had seen a couple times. 

Taking in the beauty of the change of scenery and the cold air he couldn't help but feel his body relax, his mind finally quiet as he scanned the pages of his book quietly.

He had maybe been reading for a solid fifteen minutes when he felt eyes on his figure, his entire body tensing as he lifted his gaze from his book to do a quick scan of the park. 

His eyes landed on those of a little girl who stood one hand in her mouth, chewing on it thoughtfully while the other held her mother's. 

Once she saw she had his attention she let go of her mother's hand and waved cheerfully starting to make her way towards him.

_ No, no, kid. Go back to your mother, it's not safe to be around a monster like me. _

He reminded himself as if his thoughts would be heard by her.

She continued on even as he made to scoot farther along the bench, keeping his distance.

When she finally stood before him he noticed her gaze on his left arm, more specifically on the way it shined in the sunlight, the metal quite pronounced.

"Hi, mister." She announced cheerily, smiling so brightly at him he had no choice but to smile back. 

"Hi." He responded cautiously, lifting his eyes briefly to meet those of who he assumed was the mother, who only watched the interaction fondly.

"Are you the winter soldier? From the Avengers?" She asked innocently, tilting her head thoughtfully as she awaited his answer.

Bucky's breath hitched and he debated lying  _ 'no, he wasn't. not anymore. was he even a real avenger, all he really did was a few minor mission clean ups'. _

But one look at her hopeful expression and he couldn't find it in him to lie.

"Yeah kid, I am." Whatever he was expecting an excited squeak was not it.

"I knew it! Mom, I told you, it's the winter soldier! He's just like me mom." She turned to her mother who had tear filled eyes and before he could even comprehend that last sentence she was lifting her right arm sleeve. Bucky felt his breath hitch as the fabric was pulled back revealing a bolt of metal, connecting to her right arm.

She had a prosthetic like him. 

"I got in a really bad accident and got a boo-boo, it couldn't be fixed so they made this for me," she pointed at the arm, "I was mad at first and I kept crying and didnt wanna wear it." She explained and he could hear a bit of a sniffle in her voice, like she was remembering something.

"Then momma turned on the tv and I saw you and your arm was like mine and you didn't get rid of it. Mom said bad people used you to hurt others and that you were sad because of it, that you don't like your arm." She continued and Bucky felt his face soften as the girl once again looked at him this time her own eyes watery.

"I just wanted to say you're my favorite hero, mr winter and don't feel sad anymore, okay, it's not your fault those bad men hurt you and made you mean. You're helping people now, right?" She asked him and he felt his own eyes grow wet, his throat starting to hurt from the lump that now resided in it.

"Right." He confirmed with a shaky exhale.

The little girl smiled and then managed to surprise him once again as she moved to hug him, her arms only coming up to his legs. 

"Take care, mr winter." She let go before he could blink and headed off after her mother that mouthed a 'thank you' leaving him in awe.

He felt his heart swell as he recalled the sincerity in the girls words, how she had proclaimed him, her hero. She related to him because she too had lost a part of her, and she learned to embrace it rather than disregard it.

As he looked down at his own metal limb he realized he too could learn to love it.

HYDRA had made him a weapon, but his arm made him a hero. 

And he would make damn sure it stayed that way.

Not for him, but for that little girl that looked up to him.

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
